My parents have always been there for me, ever since I was about seven - David Beckham. For Tony to admit he is an alcoholic took an awful lot of bottle - Ian Wright on Tony Adams. I've been playing in a golf day for a boy seriously injured in a car accident. I had to drive like a lunatic to get here - Ray Houghton, TalkSport football pundit, on why he was late on-air Reporter: What would you be if you weren't a footballer? Peter Crouch: A virgin. I've never been so certain about anything in my life. I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which - Phil Neville. Footballers may not be known for their profound insights, but it seems no one in the game is above a mixed metaphor or confused cliche. From Harry Redknapp to Martin O'Neill, Patrice Evra to Jason McAteer, see the funny side of the beautiful game with this hilarious collection of verbal own goals. Packed full of hilarious quotes, quips and misfires from the biggest names in football, Tell Him He's Pele is a must for ...